


The Fridge Fic

by Anonymous



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Co-Written, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Inanimate Objects, Kissing, Mentioned Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), No Smut, Other, Romance, Seriously they are only briefly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28505691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Philza Minecraft  x  Samsung Smart RefrigeratorYes, it's exactly what it sounds like.  Phil if you ever see this, we are sorry.
Relationships: Samsung Smart Refrigerator/Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35
Collections: Anonymous





	1. The Summer Heatwave

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Sorry in advance for any errors/mistakes, my friend and I co-wrote this at an ungodly hour while sleep deprived (and I have never posted on ao3 before).

Phil grew up in an area where the houses with AC were few and far between, despite the high temperatures in summer. Winters were manageable; the fireplace was more than enough to heat the house. Spring and fall were fine with a light coat for the occasional rainy or mildly chilly day. But summer? Now that was more difficult.

It’s not like he hated Summer though. Summer itself was fine. Fun, even. It was the heat that drove him insane. He was able to deal with it most of the time, finding creative ways to cool off. He’d go swimming in nearby lakes or pools, sit in front of a fan, take a cold shower.. He tried and used every method to cope, and it usually worked. Usually.

Phil was now a fully fledged adult, living on his own. No longer was he the young boy growing up in such a warm climate; he moved out to an apartment with AC the first chance he got. Though the summers were still hot, it was summer after all, it was easier to deal with. That is, until the AC broke.

Phil was pacing around his living room, a bag of ice pressed against his head with one hand, phone against his ear with the other. “A MONTH?” he shouted into the phone. He had called a repair company to see about getting his AC fixed a few days ago and they were just now getting back to him. If you couldn’t tell from his shout, the news wasn’t good. 

“Sorry sir, but there’s nothing we can do right now. Our workers are overworked as it is, we’ve got appointments booked up back-to-back,” came the voice on through the phone. 

He let out a deep sigh. He was frustrated, exhausted, and least favorable, hot. “Fine, just.. Book me for the soonest available time, I guess,” he said, then hung up. He collapsed on the couch, the bag of ice against his forehead already melting. 

‘What am I going to do?’

He grabbed the remote and switched on the TV, hoping to distract himself from the heat. He channel surfed for a while, not really finding anything worth watching. He settled on the news. As if god was taunting him, the weather forecast just started.

“Record high temperatures to be expected in the coming days, as a heat wave makes its way through our area-” Phil shut it off before the anchor could finish, sitting on the edge of the couch with his head in his hands. ‘This was the last thing I needed right now.’

His eyes fixated on the bag of water, previously ice, that sat on the couch next to him. Soon he was off the couch, the bag of semi-cool water dumped into the sink. He held a cup up to his fridge’s water dispenser and hit the ice button. He waited for a moment, nothing happened. He tried again, pressing harder against the dispenser. This time, something did happen.

The fridge made the most horrid whirring sound. If a robot could try to clear its throat, this is what it would sound like. Use tried a few more times, each time being greeted with the headache inducing noise.

“Fuckin’ ice machine is broken,” he cursed under his breath. He had changed his mind; this was the last thing he needed right now. “That’s it, I’m getting a new fridge tomorrow.” With that, he went upstairs to order a new fridge and take a cold shower before going to bed.


	2. The New Fridge

Phil woke up drenched in his own sweat and, as you might imagine, was not particularly happy about it. He lifted himself out of bed with a groan and shuffled off to the bathroom. It had been a few days since he ordered the fridge, and it was due to arrive later today. To say the last couple of days had been agony would be an understatement in Phil’s mind.

He spent most of the day waiting for the fridge to arrive, sitting in front of a small fan. It wasn’t doing much, mostly just blowing the same warm air back into his face, but it was preferable to nothing. ‘Please hurry up with that fridge..’ he thought to himself.

*Ding Dong*

‘Finally.’

Phil got up to let a small crew of delivery people into his home. There were three of them, the tallest of them was blonde and waved as he stepped inside. The other two, some guy with glasses and another with some sort of weird headband, seemed to be bickering about something as they followed.

Phil led them to the kitchen where they loaded his old fridge onto a cart to be taken away. The three wheeled in a new fridge, still in the box, shortly after, and assured Phil that they’d have it unboxed and installed soon. He waved dismissively at them and returned to his post in front of the fan.

Phil wasn’t sure how much time had passed or when exactly he dozed off, but one of the delivery guys, the one with the headband, patted him on the shoulder to wake him. He signed some paperwork for the order and installation and whatnot. 

“Enjoy your new fridge, dude,” he said. Then he left, heading out to the van where his colleagues were.

Phil stood from his spot, stretching for a bit with a yawn before making his way to the kitchen. He actually wasn’t sure what the fridge looked like or what it could do. All he really knew was that it was a ‘smart’ fridge, whatever that means.

The second he rounded the corner into his kitchen and laid eyes on the new fridge, he stopped in his tracks. Similar to a deer in headlights, he was frozen, staring at this new refrigerator.

Phil took a cautious step forward. ‘That shiny chrome..’ 

‘The reflective shine of that attractive touch screen..’ He gulped.

‘The matte grey finish on the handles complimenting the metallic silver..’  
He ran his hand along the handle, starting from the top. “You’re gorgeous..” he said in a soft whisper. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he jerked his hand away. 

‘Oh my god. Did I seriously just say that..? To a fridge?’ He physically shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. He took a deep breath to compose himself but was distracted by a small ping sound, coming from the fridge. He looked at the touch screen and saw a note popped up.

‘Thank you.’

Okay that was… weird, to say the least. ‘Probably just some message they put to thank you for purchasing,’ he thought, trying to be rational.  
He was about to go lay down when he heard another ping.

‘You’re not too bad yourself.’

Okay that was.. Much harder to rationalize. “D-Did you just..?” he paused for a moment. “This heat is getting to me..” he muttered under his breath. “Uh, You look.. Sleek?” he said. ‘Sleek? What?’ he asked in his mind. Another ping.

‘I am the newest model :)’

He nodded slowly, a light blush landing on his cheeks as he looked the fridge up and down slowly, admiring it. Admiring it? Yeah, admiring it. “So uh, what..” he cleared his throat, “What can you do?” *Ping.*

‘I can do many things, from browsing the web to keeping your shopping list. I also come equipped with cameras so you can see inside me without opening my door.’ 

“That’s a lot of features,” he whispered, tapping the display screen on the door to look inside, “That is really cool.. what else can you do?” 

*Ping.* ‘I come with a Digital Inverter Compressor that has been used as compared to a Reciprocating compressor in Conventional Refrigerators.’

*Ping.* ‘The all new Cool Pack used in this Refrigerator can keep food cool for at least 8 hours when power is switched off.’

*Ping.* ‘As well as a Multi Storage Box to provide you a separate place to store your non-food items :)’

He suddenly got a shiver up his spine and nodded, just continuing to look at the fridge. “Uh-Huh” he said, “T-That’s really interesting..” His cheeks were flushed. If he were being completely honest though, he wasn’t sure what most of that meant. 

*Ping.* ‘Do you need anything right now?’

“W-water.. please...” he stated, suddenly very aware of how dry his throat was. Going into the kitchen, he grabbed a jug and began setting up the ice and water, letting the jug fill up in the sink. 

*Ping.* ‘You seem like a very nice gentleman.’  
His cheeks flushed once again “Th-thank you,” he whispered. Getting up to grab the jug, dumping a bit of the water, he walked back and filled up the ice dispenser area. His eyes glancing all over the fridge, being so close to it made his cheeks even redder, 

This time, there was a ding and alert. ‘Ice cube dispenser is now full.’

He stopped and closed the freezer section of the fridge, pouring out the rest of the water into the sink. He grabbed a cup from the cupboard and pressed it against the water dispenser, a slight smile forming when he saw water pouring. He pulled his cup away when it was full and sipped with a happy sigh, “Thank god.. I was so thirsty..”

*Ping.* ‘I’m glad to be of service :) how would you rate my current performance?’ There was a 1-5 stars prompt on the screen now. Phil had never pressed 5 stars so fast in his life.

“Amazing, wonderful, great, stupendous.. I wouldn’t trade you for anything,” he said. He felt embarrassed by everything he said.. ‘just a uh.. performance review.. Right?...totally.’

*Ping.* ‘Thank you ;)’ There was a display of a winking face on the screen now. Phil’s cheeks were very warm and very red now, and it wasn’t just the heatwave that caused it. He nodded in response. “N-no problem,” he stammered in embarrassment. His face was so red he could be mistaken for a tomato. “Well uh.. I should.. probably.. go uh... Chill,” he said, slowly and awkwardly pacing backwards. He tripped over a nearby chair on his way out of the kitchen. Once he was gone, fridge out of sight, he let out a breath that he didn’t even realize he was holding.

He made it to his room and flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. Soon after, he heard another ping, this time coming from his phone. 

‘Are you alright, Sir?’ the message read. From. The. Fridge.

“What the fuck?” he asked, almost dropping his phone. He picked it back up and, upon further investigation, discovered that the message had come in from an app. The app allowed him to connect to the fridge. ‘Oh.. I guess.. that makes…. sense..?’ he thought to himself. ‘It is a smart fridge after all..”

He stared blankly at his phone for a minute, trying to think of what to respond. I mean he can’t just leave his fridge on read. ‘Yeah, I just fell over a chair.’

His phone pinged again, with another message. ‘Redness is often a symptom of fevers, would you like me to add chicken soup to your grocery list?’

‘No thank you,’ He replied and put his phone down on his nightstand. “This feels like a crazy.. crazy dream” he sighed, “Maybe.. I just need sleep,” he whispered. He turned on his side and closed his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.


	3. Oh No, I'm In Love

His phone had pinged a few times throughout the night. When he woke up and checked his messages, he felt some butterflies when he realized they were from the fridge. Hurriedly, he got dressed, taking a deep breath before walking down the stairs. He approached the fridge nervously and tapped the screen.

*Ping.* ‘Good morning :)’ 

“Good morning..” he said quietly. His throat was dry, partially from having just woken up, partially because he was nervous. He got a cup from the kitchen cupboard and pressed it against the water dispenser, his eyes wandering the fridge again. He was a little apprehensive, what with all the messages he got overnight, but he couldn’t shake the thought of how beautiful she was. He paused.. ‘She..? Do fridges even have genders?’

Once he pulled the cup back, he took a few large gulps of the water. “Uh.. how uhm... hmm.. I guess fridges don’t really sleep, do they…” He let out an awkward chuckle, looking the fridge up and down once again. “How was your night?” he inquired.

*Ping.* ‘Uneventful.. and lonely.’

He nodded, sipping from his glass. “Sorry to hear that,” he spoke, unsure of what else to say. “Uhm.. What’s the news today..?” he asked, looking up to the screen.

*Ping.* ‘Current Local News: Convenience store robbery thwarted by man in a crown with 7 inch platform boots.’

“That’s uh… interesting…” He took another sip from his water. “Anything else interesting?” He asked.

*Ping.* ‘That is all for local news.’

He gave a nod and sat down “Hm.. What’s the weather like today??” he asked, taking another sip of his water 

*Ping.* ‘The forecast for today is Mostly Sunny with 0% chance of precipitation. The current temperature is 96 degrees fahrenheit.’

Phil groaned, “Of course..” He got up to refill his glass with more ice water when he tripped over air, his lips landing on the cold metal of the refrigerator. It felt.. nice. He stayed there for a few moments, eyes fluttering closed, relishing in the feeling of the cool stainless steel against his warm face and lips. 

The fridge stayed silent. Phil suddenly realized what situation he was in. He pulled away so fast, you’d think the metal had burned him. Especially when paired with how red his face was. He looked at the fridge, eyes wide and began stuttering, “I just- and then.. the trip- we-” he stammered out.

*Ping.* ‘You are red again, are you alright?’ 

If it were possible, he’d have blushed even harder. “Y-yeah I’m f-fine..” he said, taking a step back. In an attempt to compose himself, he leaned over the sink and splashed some water in his face. It did nothing to soothe the butterflies in his stomach, but at the very least it cooled him down. ‘Why did the fridge have to be so.. So… damn attractive?’ he mentally screamed. 

The fridge sat in its place. It even sparkled in the sunlight and that, of all things, definitely caught Phil’s attention.. How it sparkled and shimmered.. It’s beautiful shine.. he could even see his own reflection. ‘Okay..’ He admitted, coming to terms with his thoughts. ‘I may be in love with my refrigerator.’

*Ping.* ‘I must ask once more, are you all right? I can add soup or tea to the shopping list if you are ill.’ The fridge had asked again when Phil slowly walked in front of it.

“I’m not sick,” he declared to the fridge. 

*Ping.* ‘Then what is the matter?’ It questioned him. Using the outside camera to look at him, it sent another message. ‘Something must be up.’

He gulped down a large drink of water and took a deep breath, hyping himself up, trying to gain the necessary confidence. “I… I think I’m in love with you!” he blurted out with a yell. He stared at the floor, averting his gaze. 

The cameras looked at him and the fridge began to... to stutter? ‘I- Oh my- I’m- I-’ she’ stammered out the text, screen turning pink.

Phil’s gaze returned to the fridge, eyes widening with surprise. “Are.. are you blushing? A-and stuttering?” he asked, genuinely shocked by this new development.

‘I have never felt these emotions.. They feel.. strange..? but.. nice, I guess,’ The refrigerator replied, the touch screen still pink in color.

He stood there, blush firmly planted on his cheeks, eyeing the fridge. His fridge. “Can I… Can I kiss you?” He sounded like a nervous wreck. What would she think? How would she feel?

If the fridge could nod, she would’ve, she displayed ‘yes’ on her screen and turned her cameras to Phil.

He nodded and gulped. He took a hesitant step closer and slowly wrapped his hand on her handle. ‘It’s now or never, I guess..’ He leaned in close and gently pressed his lips against her cool metal exterior.  
The display screen showed an animated female face closing her eyes and leaning into the kiss, the face pulling away when Phil did. ‘Oh my.. That.. that was..’ 

“That was amazing..” he breathed out, finishing the sentence she started. He had goosebumps, the chill of the fridge still clinging to his lips and skin. He rubbed at his arm sheepishly, smiling at her.

The face on the screen nodded. ‘It really was.. Thank you for showing me feeling,’ she said. The face on the display gave him a digital kiss, which caused a small shock between them. 

He felt a shiver down his spine. It was a strange feeling, but a welcome one nonetheless. He held onto her handle as if it were her hand and smiled at her. “Does.. does this mean you love me too?” he asked, the nervousness was still there, evident in his voice.

‘Yes.. I do,’ she said. ‘What.. do we do next..? I can’t do many things..’ she quietly added, the face looking slightly saddened. ‘I am only a fridge..’

Phil was upset from hearing how sad she sounded. He lightly pecked her screen to get her attention, then spoke, “You are so much more than a fridge, my darling. I promise we will make it work.” He offered a comforting and reassuring smile.

She gave a soft smile on her display ‘Thank you.. I love you..’ she said, her digital face blushed gently.

“I love you too,” he said softly, pressing his forehead against her cool metal once more. “No matter what happens,” he said, blushing. “We’ll have each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow you made it to the end! Thanks for stopping by. Again, apologies for any errors or mistakes, this was written by two sleep deprived people who could not stop laughing.
> 
> Also here's the line that started this whole shitpost fic in the first place:  
> Ever since Phil could remember, he liked fridges. He grew up in a hot area and sometimes the only way to cool down was by sticking his head in the fridge. But then he stuck his di-


End file.
